Sometimes I Just Shake My Head

You know 2008 was probably the worst year of my life. I lost a woman to a jealous and greedy individual. Someone that was suppose to be a friend. However, after 10 plus years of knowing the piece of crap, his true colors showed through. I am so glad I am not like him or the one that she is with now. It’s people like them that I have walked away from. They call them kinds of people drama queens. Therefore, I have decided that they have no place in my world. If only she knew, what he thought of her back then. He sure did have plenty of wonderful things to say about her and her mother. Things that I will never tell her about. Only because that would make me out to be just like them. Therefore, I continue to walk away in hopes that maybe someday she will catch up and walk beside me.

Then there was the loss of my mother in August. Everyone was sure that would put me over the deep end. However, it did not. I believe my mother was prepping me for the day she took her last breath. I was content knowing that she was not suffering anymore. I was tough watching her go through all that she went through over the years. God never really blessed her with a good body. She was always sick. It seemed to me that out of a thirty-day span my mother would feel great for about five days. That went on ever since I was a child. I remember vividly the first time she had an operation. I was eight years old and I must say it scared the shit out of me and my brother. I think we cried the whole time she was in the hospital. Of course, my father leaving us when I was six did not help much.

So today I sit here doing the “What If” crap and wondering what life would be today if they where both still around. Not only did I loose my mother, I lost a friend that I confided in for almost two years before we started dating. That woman, that friend is the only woman I have ever opened up to and now I am back to where I was before I met her. Holding every thing and keeping to myself like I did for so many years before her. Telling everyone that things in my life are ok when in reality they are not. The only thing I have left to say on this issue is Thank You to the one woman that I loved with all my heart. Thanks for being there for me, when I needed you most and thank you for helping with keeping my mother alive. Because without you she would have died, a lot sooner then she did.

Do You Know Which One You Are?

Pay attention to what you read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes: People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season . LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

One Wish

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling

with anyone other than you.

Love Compatibility of Cancer with Cancer

Crabs aren't used to having their abundant emotional needs met. When two Cancers hook up, then, they might not know how to deal with the fact that someone is lavishing them with the same caring and devotion they usually give to others but never get in return. You've both been longing for love for what seems like forever, but it's hard for you to accept it. When you finally do - and you will -- you'll have a happy life together, with plenty of blankets, tissues (for tears) and cozy furniture. Plus, you'll finally have all the snuggling you could ever hope for.

Need I Say More

Need I Say More?